voice of reason

I feel your dance of sadness. Remember those trying to hold you or keep you down are already beneath you. Giving an x another chance is like giving them another bullet to shoot you again and again. Focus on you and not any one else to bring you Joy.  Go forward my friend. :) I love you. 

Duke

John Wayne has it going on - click a see for yourself.

vbsa - look your pen! yikes

This is too powerful to keep a secret .... I know you asked me to keep it between us.....you lied once.

HOW I BECAME A MADMAN

      You ask me how I became a madman. It happened thus: One day, long before many gods were born, I woke from a deep sleep and found all my masks were stolen -- the seven masks I have fashioned and worn in seven lives -- I ran maskless through the crowded streets shouting, "Thieves, thieves, the cursed thieves." 
      Men and women laughed at me and some ran to their houses in fear of me. 
      And when I reached the market place, a youth standing on a house-top cried, "He is a madman." I looked up to behold him; the sun kissed my own naked face for the first time. For the first time the sun kissed my own naked face and my soul was inflamed with love for the sun, and I wanted my masks no more. And as if in a trance I cried, "Blessed, blessed are the thieves who stole my masks." 
      Thus I became a madman. 
      And I have found both freedom and safety in my madness; the freedom of loneliness and the safety from being understood, for those who understand us enslave something in us. 
      But let me not be too proud of my safety. Even a Thief in a jail is safe from another thief. 

a work in progress

There has to be a villain, this could not be my fault

I need someone to blame for the way things turned out

I never change or make mistakes, I stay true to the cause

I need someone to blame to hold my head high as i live a double life

at the end of the day I'll use your name the public can be sold

look in my eye they gleam as flash my sparkling smile

I can keep this up all day and do it all the time

This is the life i live i can't get to the light

until then I will do it this way, it is the easy way the only way i know

god forbid I change my ways i never have as long as I lived

I just start over with all new peeps and lay it on so thick

by the time on done I believe it myself this quite a trick

each and every seduction starts this way and it will last for while

until i stub my toe a forget to play the game

now that i'm exposed and you have me figured out

you now will take the blame and are the villain of the day

this is just the way it is and no need to change

When you fix yourself i'll be right here you join in the fun

this is the way i live my lie

I do know right from wrong; deep down I'm good

When the other personalty makes the decisions I will be saved.

until then you are evil and stand with quite crowd

you are blocked yet I can't get you out of my mind

you changed your ways this can't be true; i want this for me

Henry McClure praying for change you feel in your heart

Henry McClure - a work in progress too

I need to wake up, get up, get out of bed.

I need to wake up, get up, get out of bed.

I need to brush my teeth,
look at myself in the mirror,
Turn the corners of my mouth up
Put my pants on, choose a sweater
Make breakfast (which I often leave untouched).
I need to write, I need to leave the house,
to see people, to meet people, to shake hands, to chit chat, to go to the grocery store, to the park, to the café, to find a new route home.
I need to close the door and open the door.
I need to sit on the tube, next to a stranger.
I need to watch a couple going up the escalator
kissing, giggling, holding hands
I need to go home,
I need to cook myself dinner, cook dinner for myself.
I need to look out the window and wonder, “What is he doing right now?”
Because
I need to accept the change.
The days are not the same anymore. The morning light is different, the smell in the room is not the same, there’s silence now. Sometimes I ask, “Wouldn’t it have been easier to stay? I was happy, wasn’t I? How can this possibly hurt so much?”

But listen, love (because you matter).

We need to wake up.
We need to close the door, we need to open the door.
We need to go to that yoga class, we need to go and see our friends, we need to make ourselves dinner, the first one, for ourselves.
We need to drink too much red wine because there’s no one to control us. We need to laugh. We need to go out in nature, to feel the sky above our head, to feel the cold grass beneath our feet.
We need to cry between the milk and the cheese selection at Tesco’s, squeezing a bottle of orange juice between our hands like an anchor.
We need to be okay on our own
when there’s nothing to do, nothing to read, nothing to watch, no one to chat with.
We need to sit with our feelings, we need to be alone
Because, “The only constant thing is change.” The change that I was seeking  for so long.
By accepting that things are not the same anymore, we can start healing, adapting to it.
Only then can we start breathing, without holding it in every other breath.

Listen to me, love: this is good for us.

Deep down, we know this is the right thing to do.
Now, take it easy.
Feel it. Slowly.
Grab the feelings when they are good, bad, even when they are sad.
Because one day,
We will wake up, and we won’t have to force ourselves out of bed
One day, we will have already made the breakfast
And gone to work
And finished the yoga class
And made the dinner and sat by ourselves, and
we will smile, and the smile will not be an escape.

One day, we will feel good again.
We will be whole again.
~

Author: Sara Kärpänen

Image:  coloredgrey / Flickr 

Editor: Toby Israel

For Everyone:

Something is different today as our attention is drawn into the future. Messenger Mercury has been reminding us to use the rearview mirror since it turned retrograde on August 30. Finally, we must apply the lessons we learned as Mercury resumes direct motion. Additionally, the Sun's shift into peace-seeking Libra at 10:21 am EDT marks the autumnal equinox in the northern hemisphere. Meanwhile, the curious Gemini Moon stirs our mental restlessness.